In 1911, Vaikuntha of Cuttack received initiation from Holy Mother when she was at Kothar in Orissa. Some years later he found it impossible to control his mind and said to the Mother with great anguish: “Mother, I have no inclination to repeat the mantra anymore because it did not remove the impurities of my mind. I have the same lust, anger, and delusion as before.”
Holy Mother assured him: “My son, all impurities will go away by repeating the mantra. Pray to the Master.”
“I am helpless,” Vaikuntha replied. “Either remove my inner restlessness or take back your mantra. I have no intention of giving you suffering, for I have heard that the guru suffers if the disciple does not repeat the mantra.”
Holy Mother’s eyes became filled with tears at her disciple’s suffering and she said fervently: “All right, you will not have to repeat the mantra anymore.”
These words frightened Vaikuntha and he thought that his relationship with the Mother was severed once and for all. Distraught, Vaikuntha said: “Mother, you have taken everything away from me! What shall I do now? Does this mean that I am going to hell?”
The Mother said in an animated voice: “What do you mean? You are my child. How can you go to hell? Those who are my children are already free. Not even Providence has the power to send my children to hell. Be at rest, entrusting your responsibility to me. And always remember that someone stands behind you and will come at the last moment to lead you to the eternal abode.”
On a different occasion she reassured another depressed disciple: “You may not be able to practise japa regularly, but the Master will have to come to receive you at the final moment. He himself promised this to me. Can his words be otherwise? Do whatever you like and enjoy your life.”