On 22 July 1883, while rubbing oil on the Master’s body on the semicircular veranda, Rakhal requested the highest spiritual experience from him. But the Master ignored his demand. When Rakhal persisted, the Master scolded him harshly. In a temper tantrum, Rakhal threw away the oil cup and stalked off with the intention of never returning. Before he got past Jadu Mallick’s garden house, his feet suddenly became numb and he was forced to sit helplessly on the ground. The Master sent his nephew Ramlal to bring him back. The all-forgiving Master said to Rakhal: “Look, could you go? I drew a boundary line there.”
That afternoon, Rakhal and M. were in the Master’s room. They heard Ramakrishna talking with the Divine Mother: “O Mother, why hast Thou given him only a particle?” After a brief pause, he added: “I understand it, Mother. That little bit will be enough for him and will serve Thy purpose. That little bit will enable him to teach people.” M. felt that the Master was transmitting spiritual powers to his disciple, and he recorded: “Sri Ramakrishna was still in a state of partial consciousness when he said to Rakhal: ‘You were angry with me, weren’t you? Do you know why I made you angry? There was a reason. Only then would the medicine work. The surgeon first brings an abscess to a head. Only then does he apply an herb so that it may burst and dry up.’” (Source: God Lived with Them) What Happened Next: Fear During Spiritual Awakening
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Premananda’s whole life was one of complete self-surrender. Behind every action was the subtle but commanding presence of Sri Ramakrishna. Sometimes this presence became visible and Premananda would be blessed with a vision of his beloved guru. However, this did not always occur under the most pleasant of circumstances. Once Premananda gave a pumpkin from the monastery garden to a poor brahmin. Seeing the brahmin taking away the pumpkin, Brahmananda said to Premananda, “If you freely distribute the vegetables in this way, how shall we manage the Master’s service here?” Premananda was hurt. He put his towel on his shoulder and marched out of the Belur compound, prepared to leave for good. But the moment he reached the gate, his towel was suddenly snatched from him, and in an instant tightened around his neck. He turned, only to find the figure of Sri Ramakrishna standing in front of him. “Where are you going, my child?” the Master said. “How can you go away, leaving me here?” Overwhelmed by the experience, Premananda rushed to Brahmananda and prostrated himself at his feet. (Source: God Lived with Them)