Doubt is a terrible disease, and a doubting soul suffers very much. But it is hard to completely uproot doubt from the mind. Every spiritual seeker has to pass through this “dark night of the soul.” In spite of all that Ram had seen and heard, his old doubts and skepticism reappeared, making him restless and miserable. The world seemed to him like a desert. He went to the Master to tell him his sad tale and to seek consolation as before, but this time the Master cut him short with a curt reply: “What can I do? It all depends on the will of God.”
“Sir, all these days I have been looking to you for help. Now if you treat me like this what shall I do?”
“I don’t owe you anything. If you like, you may come. If not, don’t.” The Master’s harsh treatment immediately threw Ram into deep despair. His first impulse was to put an end to his life by drowning himself in the Ganges, but as he left the room he thought: “Why should I commit suicide? I have heard that the name of the Lord is greater and more powerful than the Lord Himself. And the Master said that it was my good luck to have had initiation in a dream. I shall test the efficacy of that mantra today.” He lay down on the northern veranda of Sri Ramakrishna’s room and began to repeat that mantra silently. Late that night the Master suddenly came out of his room, sat down near Ram, and gave him some advice. Ram was very happy. The Master emphasized that Ram should serve the devotees of God, and that this would give him joy and peace. Then the Master returned to his room.
….. A true disciple carries out his teacher’s instructions to the letter, proving thereby his love for his teacher. The Master had said, “Those who serve the devotees, serve me.” Ram strictly observed this commandment of the Master, serving the followers of Sri Ramakrishna with great devotion until the end of his life. He used to say, “He who calls on Sri Ramakrishna is my nearest relative.” His wife, Krishnapreyasi, was also very devout, and she cheerfully helped her husband in his spiritual path. Ram, furthermore, had heard the Master cautioning the devotees about money: Just as water under a bridge is constantly flowing and as a result it never becomes stagnant and foul, so also the money earned by a real devotee should be spent for a noble cause rather than be accumulated. The desire for accumulation breeds the poison of attachment. Ram, therefore, did not save his earnings, but spent money freely for the good of others — especially for the poor, the needy, and the afflicted. He helped many students financially, even to the extent of providing free board and lodging in his own home. But Ram’s main interest was in arranging kirtan every evening in his home and feeding the thirty or so participants.(Source: They Lived with God)