Spiritual life is not always easy. It has many ups and downs. Rakhal had to pass through various ordeals and difficulties. He later recalled:
One morning I was meditating in the Kali Temple. I could not concentrate my mind. This made me very sad. I said to myself: “I have been living here so long, yet I have not achieved anything. What is the use of staying here then? Forget it! I am not going to say anything about it to the Master. If this depressed condition continues another two or three days, I shall return home. There my mind will be occupied with different things.” Having decided this in the shrine, I returned to the Master’s room. The Master was then walking on the veranda. Seeing me, he also entered the room. It was customary after returning from the shrine to salute the Master and then eat a light breakfast. As soon as I saluted the Master, he said: “Look, when you returned from the shrine, I saw that your mind seemed to be covered with a thick net.” I realized that he knew everything, so I said, “Sir, you know the bad condition of my mind.” He then wrote something on my tongue. Immediately I forgot my painful depression and was overwhelmed with an inexpressible joy.
Another day Rakhal was meditating in the natmandir, and the Master arrived in an ecstatic mood. Addressing Rakhal, Sri Ramakrishna said: “Look, this is your mantram and there is your Chosen Deity.” Immediately Rakhal saw the luminous form of God in front of him and was overwhelmed. He was convinced that his guru had the power to show God to anyone. Filled with ecstatic devotion Rakhal fell at the feet of the Master and again became absorbed in meditation. (Source: God Lived with Them)